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Another article by Jack Nuckols.
Mascots. A staple for baseball games (almost) everywhere. And while some mascots are great (and we’ll go over that next week), others suck. Here is the 5 worst mascots in the MLB.
5) Billy Marlin- Marlins
This one was a little debatable, because unlike the others on the list, he makes sense. But here’s the thing: Mascot’s heads can’t be plastic. It’s just creepy. I get that it’s a fish, and fish don’t have fur, but neither do triceratops (Rockies). The name is also hard to understand, and not even that clever (BILLy Marlin). Not great. D
4) D.Baxter- Diamondbacks
Can we go over what a diamondback is? It is a snake, not a bobcat. And it isn’t even like they chose the bobcat cause he looks inviting. For whatever reason, he doesn’t have eyes and looks more scary than he does fun. At least the name’s cool. D-
3) Slider- Cleveland Indians
What is this? Please, tag the Indians and ask them what on God’s green earth they wanted this to be. I’d make a pun, but it looks like nothing, and certainly doesn’t correspond with the Indians name. I beg you, Indians, change your mascot. F+
2) Southpaw- White Sox
Before I go any further, I will give the name credit. Seeing as they are on the Southside of Chicago, it fits well. BUT…who thought that a massive booger was a good mascot? Can you imagine how terrifying he is to little kids?
Look at this photo — that kid can not possibly be having any fun. Just look at those eyes! F+
1) Homer the Brave- Atlanta Braves
This is the lowest of the low. It is essentially an off-brand Mr. Met. And may I point out that if it weren’t for his tenure, Mr. Met would be right up there with Homer. But Mr. Met was the first true mascot and Homer was not. I mean let’s be completely honest, humanized baseballs are weird, and even weirder with eye black. At least the other mascots on this list were made with some sense of creativity or corresponded to the team. Homer gets an F for creativity, F for creepiness, F for name (it’s at the bottom of the barrel), and F for keeping with the team name (it sure isn’t a Brave) Overall: F-